Two Rules

There are two rules for assessing another person’s music collection:

If their music is generally more mainstream than yours, then they are sellout corporate whores.

If their music is generally less mainstream than yours, then they are pretentious know-it-all assholes.

"Running from past relationships, hiding from future ones too. Fighting the impulse to run away from the ones who understand what you're going through."

=

Me.

Junior-Senior, Booner-Beaner

Tonight was great for so many reasons:

• David and I almost accidentally kissed.
• Andy and I had so much fun dancing and taking a million pictures.
• I wore a vintage Vogue dress that I was in love with.
• I didn't stop laughing at how hilarious my life is.
• Andy and I are going to get married at age 40, not have sex, and adopt babies. It's going to be awesome.
• I left my camera at a Steak N' Shake in Edwardsville. Oops. Guess I'll have to go get that tomorrow...
  

Oh life.

I Heart Grandma

"To speak behind others' back is the ventilator of the heart." -- Grandma Satrapi in Embroideries

I think I should have been born Iranian.

Pet Peeve, Series 1

Pet Peeve:

When you say something in a facetious or joking manner and people don't understand and try to explain to you why you are mistaken.

Example:

If someone had the flu, and then was better and I said, "I'm glad you're not dying anymore!" and the person's response was, "The flu isn't fatal." Obviously I realize this already. And you obviously don't realize that you are a moron.

Ugh.

(No one had the flu and I didn't tell anyone that I was glad they weren't dying anymore. Just in case you were wondering.)

I am Psuedoephedrine, and so can you!

Something's going to happen this weekend while Emily's gone and I'm so calling it here and now.

I got back from the Pap at 4:30 this morning and immediately exploded into a cold. I couldn't stop sneezing! Then the floodgates of my nose opened and out poured the most massive amounts of snot you could ever hope to witness. The weirdest part about it is that it's mainly on just the right side of my face. My right nostril is the one that hurts and snots the most, and my right eye is the one that is constantly red and weepy. I called my mom to tell her of my misfortune (mom's can heal anything - even from thousands of miles away), and she told me to go to CVS and get real Sudafed, not the namby-pamby version without Psudeophedrine. I didn't realize, however, that in order to GET the real man version, you had to sign your life away.

First of all, it took me like 15 minutes just to get to CVS because when I was 2 cars away from the turn, a TRAIN came by. So I was past the light, all I had to do was turn into the CVS parking lot, and I couldn't because I was behind some huge-A truck and a mini van. Even when I finally got into the store, I couldn't just pick it up and buy it. I had to go to the Pharmacy itself and wait in line behind 4 or 5 old ladies who were picking up their various prescriptions. When I finally got to the head of the line, the Pharmacist was confused about what exactly I wanted, and I, running on 3 hours of sleep and a huge head cold, was inarticulate and awkward, resorting to gestures and pointing, "No, that one!" It was an ordeal. And they didn't have DayQuill so I had to get NyQuill and I'll probably sleep all day and be up all night and then everyone will think I'm a vampire. She made me give her my license and with pursed lips finally pronounced that yes, I was who I said I was and was not going to go make Speed or Meth whatever drugs kids these days are making in backs of cars. Then I signed, hit the "yes, I know what I'm buying and know the repercussions if I abuse this and p.s. I love the USA" button, and was finally on my way. Although I am out $11.09. Lame.

I mean, why wait around if it's just to surrender?

"The future's got me worried, such awful thoughts.
My head's a carousel of pictures.
The spinning never stops
I just want someone to walk in front
and I'll follow the leader."

"I know I should be brave
but I'm just too afraid of all this change.
And it's too hard to focus through all this doubt."

"And so I've learned to retreat at the first sign of danger.
I mean, why wait around if it's just to surrender?
An ambition, I've found, can lead only to failure."

[In the most emo move of the century, these are Bright Eyes lyrics to show how I feel.]

My whole being is infused with discord. I can't decide what I want to do when I graduate, I can't decide who I want to spend these last remaining weeks with, and I can't find anywhere in me the desire to actually finish my schoolwork.
I want out of here, sometimes so bad I can envision myself hopping on the back of a train passing by the CVS and heading to nowhere, finally free.
At the same time, I want to stay so badly that I have entertained nice little fantasies of failing a class so I don't graduate and can stay here another semester. I'm simultaneously sick of and adore everyone here.
I blow off invitations to parties, but wish someone would hang out with me.
I get annoyed when people ask me about "what happened" but am more annoyed when they don't.
I'm frustrated with failed relationships, especially this late in my time here, but I can't find any way to reconcile them in this short amount of time.
There isn't enough time left! Not enough time to have as many gullie bonfires as I wish I'd gone to, not enough late night talks on Scott Field, definitely not enough hand holding or kissing... and it's all basically over.

I hate feeling gross like this.

Maybe I will move to Austin.